Days of Candy by Melissa Panayeta

when you slam your back against the wall and the air is knocked out of your lungs

when you run so much that your legs burn

when you hold on to something for so long your hands shake when you let go

when you push down on a purple bruise you don’t remember getting

when you’re stuck in an elevator that only goes down

when you haven’t seen the sun in five days and you’re going crazy

when life feels like the fog outside, like threads, like smoke in your eyes

when you can’t manage to get out of bed and shower, and go out, and talk

when his hands feel like razor blades down your spine, a thousand bee stings on your neck, cloth around your ears

when you can’t see, and you can’t hear, and you don’t feel a thing

when you’re held underwater and told “just relax and breathe, it’s not that bad!”

when you’re everyone’s maybe, everyone’s ”ehh,” everyone’s last choice

when there is no light in your eyes, you don’t recognize the face staring back at you

when you let hot coffee pour on your skin at work, because it brings you back to yourself

when the days seem to go on forever and you can’t scrub them from your hair, you name them

days of candy

when life feels like breathless lungs, burning legs, anxious fingertips, aching back, raw hands, endless nights, sun-less days, empty space

Days of Candy by Melissa Panayeta

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